I'm a big big girl in a big big world..
haha..yeah, I'm back from that big bad old hostel! nah, just kidding. It's not that bad really once I get over all the homesickness and stuff. [What am I talking about??? Taking a shower there stinks! No place like home! >p] So! I was there since last Monday. I spent my first night there and boy, was I homesick! Pretty sad, huh? Tuesday was the first day of my orientation. That's when they taught us freshies the 'welcome clap' reserved specially for the entrance of the board members of our college. Kinda sent me reeling back into primary school days..lol. Oh, and on this first day, I was silly enough to leave a vital document in my hostel room and so had to walk all 10 minutes back to get it. >_<
Well, once orientation was done it was back to the hostel for me. Not the best place to hang out alone cause after a while, even someone like me starts getting a leetle claustrophobic. Basically, it kinda felt like jail. :p I brought one story book which I must've picked up and put down a dozen times [and more!] because, much as I love reading and much as I like that book, how long can I take to read it ?[not to mention re-read!] So that's the most boring, sickening day of this week, I guess. haha..first time away from home with no friends, no computer and no television [which I had become *so* dependant on during my "break"]
Had a free day on Wednesday. Decided to go along with a friend to get all our student IDs and whatsoever stuff done. But first, I had to go get some passport sized photos. My poor friend was dragged all the way down to the nearest shops with me.. ^^' In the end, we managed to get back to the college by about 10am and get it all done by 12 noon. By then, she left to go watch a movie with her boyfriend so I was bored. Again. Lol. Oh yeah, thanks to everyone who messaged me on this day! It was very encouraging! ^_^ Yeah, Chelle, I did go on to KLCC in the end. I love the people who put Kinokuniya there! ^.^ They were my saving grace..lol! And I now confirm that I love trains more than buses eventhough the bus driver was nice enough to send me back to the college though I was on the wrong bus, I think..heh.. ^^" Anyway, I hope I'll be a little better with bus numbers and stuff but, knowing me, it'll take a few more trips and a few more times of getting lost.. -_-'
What do you know! 'Lepak therapy' really works for a loiter-addict like me. It actually cured my homesickness [somewhat] and I felt much better by Thursday. ^_^ Thursday was also a free day for me so I acted as a "tour-guide" for two of my friends, who are from out of town, on a trip to Jaya Jusco! [me, tour-guiding..hahahahaha..] This time, we tried out the college bus and wasted half and hour waiting for it. Sigh. Nothing much to say, except they got the mini-boiler they wanted.. >D
And..Friday, I'm in love! lol..not really..but I'm home! ^_____^ I missed everything so much and the thought of Saturday classes and the ammount of time I'm going to be away makes me miss it more.. T_T But since I'm home now, I shall make the most of it. When I'm there, I'll try to rely on Cyber-cafe's to provide me with the much-needed internet but til then, I may enjoy.. :D Ja! All the best, guys!

a moment to untie the mask
I should be tired. But I'm not. Last Friday, my mom recieved a call from one of my aunts with the news that my grand-uncle had passed away. I was playing the piano till the call came. And all I remember feeling is like I did the last time. Detachment. I don't believe it. This life is not my own.
Reality hit me that night when we went to his home and the first sight that greeted me was the scene of a chinese memorial service. The sound of Taoist ritual music. Then there were all these relatives I'd hardly seen all these years. I just found it sad that it takes a funeral to bring everyone together.
To say that I wasn't and am not sad about this would be a lie. Yet, my lack of tears shed made me question my self.

I don't think I'll continue. But don't worry, guys, life is still normal on this end.

-Forgetting isn't removing a memory, it's just what we don't think about or dwell upon- just a thought.

udpdate!
Since I haven't updated in such a very long time, let me describe a wonderfully unplanned Monday from my fascinating life! Let's see, the morning was spent on finishing up chores previously abandoned during the weekend. At about 2pm, my dad 'invited' me for a nice drive up to KL to pick up my aunt from Singapore. Hmm..ok, sounds good, pick her up, get back home and delve right back into the wonderful bliss that doing nothing brings. Everything went as planned, we picked up my aunt in a mere 30 minutes or less and then after a bit of small talk in the car, they decided that it would be more convenient to drive straight to the hospital so my aunt could visit my grand-uncle [who is suffering from colon-cancer, those who have the time are welcome to pray for him, thanks.] and at the same time meet my other aunt there so she can pass her some letters. Still not too bad. I mean, I don't mind visiting my grand-uncle.. so time spent there is alright. We wait, and wait a little more and my other aunt shows up! So, we linger there awhile more and try to help out a little [entertain my grand-uncle and help him get stuff he needs] after all, the hospital environment is depressing. All you see is plain colours around you, nothing seems remotely familiar or comforting [made me wish I could re-paint the walls or something. Maybe stick glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling.. heh] By the time they decide to leave, it's about 5pm, I've as good as missed my Thai series anyway so, oh well. Then my aunt from Singapore mentions she's hungry and the other aunt asks if we want to go visit her place. Ok, another little reroute, we go pick up my grand-aunty and go for erm...tea? Yeah, I ate but I got the feeling afterwards that I shouldn't have..lol. But I liked the iced tea from that place. They put condensed milk in it, something I haven't tasted in a while.. ^^ Oops! It starts to rain and we didn't bring any umbrellas with us. Now we wait and the adults start talking about taxpaying. I was listening but it just makes me think I do NOT want to think about it til I have to.. @_@
The rain finally stops and we drop off my aunt and grand-aunty before heading off to find our way home. So confidently we went! Alas, roads are more confusing than we think and so we spend the better part of our time figuring out which way to turn to get home. This time, I've missed my 6 o' clock TVB series and part of my 7 o' clock one as well. Oh look, the tank is low..let's stop by a petrol station. Don't worry, we're relatively near home now. And so I arrive home close to 7pm. Boy, am I tired...

Oh yeah, on the brighter side, I got an mp3 player! ^_^v

a whole lotta roadsigns i never knew existed
nah, i just never really paid attention before, that's all. probably seen them along the road but never really cared. wonderful citizen, i know. ;)
this morning, i got up at 7am to make it to my friend's place where the driving instructor would pick us up at 8am. the place is at PJ, we got there on time with time to spare even after doing all the registration business.
I'm only thankfull because the lecturer i got for the 5 hours of "hell" so-called, made it pretty bearable. a funny guy, really nice. kept injecting doses of his own anecdotes here and there, life experiences and such..lol. but still, 5 hours is a long time to spend listening to one topic straight with your butt on a hard chair >_<
and since i chose to sleep late the night before, i was under a bout of yawn-attack. you know, every 5 minutes, *yawn* i think i'm getting pretty known for this.. bad... T_T
nevermind that, anyway, five hours was over and thankfully, again, it started about 20 minutes late with a half hour lunch break. shh..i am supposed to have done 5 hours.. :p by the time i got home, [with a little dilly-dallying in between..time flies when you're doing nothing usefull] it was about 3pm. i only planned to rest lying on my bed a little while but, konked out for 2 hours.. kyaa..was tireder than i thought.
now, i'm finishing off my day typing this after having watched 'The In-Laws'. Great movie..really funny. should let you guys watch it.. :)
*yawn* ja! oyasumi....*yawn*

who i am, i am
elo! i realize the time frames are getting wider and wider in between my posts mostly because i either am simply not inspired to type or am not in the mood [which may add up to the same thing to some].
that settled, my dad was driving me home today and we passed my old school. opposite the school, that faithful food vendor/van was parked, catering food for those who stayed back after school or played basketball in the evenings. my dad asked me if it was there always to which i agreed then erupted into minor complaints about the school canteen and how they would not cater to us on weekends when we had co-curriculur activities. somewhere along my train of thought came a memory of my primary school headmaster. a very nice man, i'd never heard him shout. when he retired, i remember the occasion and how sad most students and teachers were but that's not really the point today. the point is, not long after his retirement, we saw him serving the students at the school canteen. i remember this because i felt very awkward as to whether to call him 'cikgu'[teacher] as i used to or 'pak cik' [uncle]..heh. all this just made me wonder if the current headmistress of my ex-highschool would ever do the same - serve in the canteen, that is. i can't picture it and somehow, it made me respect that retired headmaster from my primary school even more. so much for nostalgia.. :)
leading on, i have been doing nothing much but playing a computer game [occasionally.. *looks innocent*] and downloading music and manga lately. oh, and settling my college stuff. sheesh, it costme a little irritation for a while but now it's done! [i hope -_-] now to resume on my usual existence! ^^ ja!

living in the dark theatre
yeah, i wish! lol..but considering how backward i usually am in the circle of moviegoers, 3 movies watched in a week seems not bad effort at all to me.. :D [self praise is no praise~] Anyway, i recommend 'Hitch', a hilarious romantic-comedy. no spoilers here but, just watch it even if you don't like romance ^_~
Finally saw 'Constantine', i liked it but it would have been better if i'd caught it on the big screen. instead, it was sadly viewed through a badly copied dvd :S bummer. down with all lousy pirating! [if you're going to make money pirating, do it properly!!] right, no points for me anywhere with the kementrian here no more..woops! ;P
Erm...what else did i catch? right, since it was my brother's birthday, we took a trip to Times Square and caught 'Lemony Snicket:Tale of Unfortunate Events'. Not a bad effort but not one of my favourites either despite all the rant about the wonderful views it takes you through. Nope, my highlight of this day is, i finally found Arena Komik issue 2!! ^_^ i guess i know where to come back to next month.. >D

o-kay! anyway, i've been kinda obsessed with that Numa Numa song as of yeterday.. ^^" nope, never really was a big fan of dance tracks but that one's really catchy..*dances Numa Numa* :p Getting so lazy nowadays. not having a proper schedule is turning my life upside down after all..kinda. yeah, then when i get to college, i'll complain bout not having enough free time. just can't win, can you? ^_~" kay, gonna go now. Ja!

Another notch up
yesterday, SPM was officially over for me.. we finally collected our results and emotions ran amok. tears of joy, disappointment, frustration and loads of others flowed freely from some. others caught up with one another or discussed plans for the future. i was of the latter. that may have been the last time i set foot in that geometrically square 'house of learning'. or at least the last time i would meet so many people from my batch there. the next time i met most of them will probably be at college functions or perhaps even further in the future at work, each with our own jobs. [speaking of which, i terminated my contract last wednesday, day before i went to collect my results..i'm technically free now.. ^^]
anyway, my own results were nothing to shout about. i suppose i did moderately well though a few might wish to point out their mediocrity. but, in the perspective of the question a discerning friend posed to me, 'are you satisfied?' i can honestly reply, 'yes, i am.' nothing too great, yet the two years spent in learning which led up to this has not been wasted. it has broadened my perspective if not my interest in science.. [hopeless, i know..lol ^_~]
i tasted a little of how it was to be "on-my-own" in a sense and surviving two years, i hope some sliver of maturity has been knocked into me [not! >D]well, nothing more to say accept, i've got my credits to get into college [lol] i'll be weighing out my choice of courses again [praying hard to make the right desicion] and hoping to stay in touch with all you guys!
hey, CONGRATULATIONS ALL OF YOU! you guys did really well..i'm so proud.. ^^
i wish you guys all the best and [once again *rolls eyes at self*] thanks so
much for all the support! make your desicions, get into college of uni,
do your best and, if you need to unwind a little, do call.. ^_~ ja ne!

of spring cleaning and mandarin oranges
i'm the last person to say anything about spring cleaning cause i've hardly been any help at all, especially this year. still i chaffe everytime i feel i've been robbed of some, or all, of my computer time each day. *hugs computer* i miss these moments..heh ^^
this chinese new year's eve i'm not doing much in particular. we'll be having a steamboat dinner afterwards [homedone not restaurant ^_~] just my immediate family...all about family reunion and togetherness isn't it, all these traditions? this year, i'm not going to dwell on it considering my less than celebratory mood since last christmas. Anyway! Happy Chinese New Year to all of you, whether you're celebrating it or not! ^_^
ano...i don't really have much elseto say. that was my sole reason for this post, really. to wish all of you a happy CNY and to give some indication i'm alive, i guess after that "near-death" experience last friday.. X_x lol! no, seriously, boredom kills..! you know those passing remarks about getting paid to sit on your ass all day? well, it kinda happened and it's *not* as great as you might think! rotting away for almost the entire day in an icebox [ooh, they even preserve your corpse!lol >_< i'm kidding!] is not good for your mental health... ok, time to store that not-so-great memory in my little library of memories.. ^^ nothing more now, *toasts everyone wih shandy* ja ne!

haii..wakateru [yes..i know]
chotto matte kudasai [plaese wait a moment]
Tadaima! lol..i know, i know..a sudden burst of "too many" japanese words but i kinda felt like it today ^^" why are there two titles this time? well, i just felt that both pretty much sum up most of my thought vocab for the past week or so when asked or told to do chores..-_-" aside from that, it has no real significance so, please pay no more attention to it.. >D
after being 'gone' for that little..um..period of time(?), what have i been up to? well, like i mentioned in my last post, i've been working [tedious..now i know some of the working life..lol] and not having any inspiration for drawing up til last week [yay! ^_^] and before that i was trying to work on my little fanfic but it seems to have put itself on hold now so sigh.. and last weekend, my cousins from Penang came down. Was happy to see them but i missed Jessie's birthday...and so though she won't see this, Happy birthday, Jessie! heh..
anyway, about my cousins last Saturday, we met up at my other cousin's house which is in Klang, dumped all "kids" [15 and below and all guys] in the house while the adults and my other cousin went shopping at Jaya Jusco [whee..that sounds like something i wrote in primary school T_T] and all i want to say about that trip is, i got two blouses and a pair of earrings all for below 30 dollars! >D yes,i'm easy to please..[sometimes] hehe.. that's also because i haven't felt that shoppermania exhiliration in a while.. *_*
on a saner note, that Saturday was also the Saturday that Sho boarded a plane back to NZ.. >_< e-mail often,k, Sho?? i miss you!!
on a sidetrack, i've watched animes 'Sakon' and 'Lament of the Lamb' courtesy of Mel. Arigato gozaimas! me likes 'Lament of the Lamb'... it's a short but interesting and rather deep "series" [four episodes] with and abstract feel to it. lovely ending song too.. ^^ might start watching Gilgamesh today if i have extra energy to stay up..heh.. guess that's all.. ja! sayonara!

p/s - no work on Friday! yeah! ^_______^

new beginning..?
First day of the new year. Happy New Year, everyone... congratulations, we survived 2004. Well, to my friends, i'm glad to have known you guys! Life wouldn't have it's bright colour without you and though all these sounds really cheesy, i'm keeping it here anyway [while resisting the strong urge to press down on that 'backspace' button] cause i guess i do need [and want] to let you guys know what a difference you make time and time again. thanks.. :)
And speaking of colouring life, 2004 has become another chapter to add to my life. It is by no means just another chapter to me cause, after all, i believe it to be the year out of which i learnt the most. A lot of 'growing up' came out of this year and though i may not like it and hate to exit that rainbow bubble of childhood i stayed in for so long, i guess it was waning away, as bubbles do, and it's time for me to face some of reality. I'm only glad God had the grace to let it to me slowly as stubborn as i am. >_< But once again, the question comes up, 'where will i go?' away from the 'haven' that was school [hah!] that's for sure but, now what? The question of colleges/universities still hasn't gone away since i haven't chosen and still stand unsure which path to follow. That's what becomes of being a 'jack of all trades but master to none' in this world where you have to be good or even, better than most to succeed. I don't know...maybe i'm being a tad bit too pessismetic in my views here.
Leaving school meant leaving a world in which you could live with everything dictated for you, your mind blissfully shutting off that need to direct and instead just follow as required in the system. I have drifted in that river too long. Breaking away is almost never easy and it requires a lot of effort which i don't seem to be putting in enough of. Instead, i've taken a job at Mel's aunt's company. Thanks, Mel, though i don't like it much [lol..if they knew my mantra of '$$ dollars, $$ dollars...'] but at least i know what it's like now and yeah, gained some of that 'experience' we're supposed to.. :p
In short, no, i haven't given up on life and what it can yield. Though i won't be able to retain exactly who i was and all that naivete, i believe that me as a person is like an unfinished jigsaw. I'll keep discovering those other pieces as i go along and appreciate them too! ^^ And at the moment, there's still that little nagging question to consider...bugger!
My new year resolution is to realise what i wanna do!!! ^^ Have a blessed New Year.

The Night before Christmas, there were bells and proms...
^_^" another of my nonsensical titles... but yes, i must speak of the Prom Night that happened on the night of the 22nd! Of course, preparations were made [rather rushed and done last minute on my part], buying the dress, cutting my hair [lol...this one was just coincidence since i needed a haircut anyway..] and makeup *sweatdrop*. Then, of course my forgetfullness had to kick in on this day so i ended up getting dressed, going all the way to Mel's house to dump my bag and stuff there [for the sleepover after the prom] and then realise that i forgot to bring Regina's and my own prom tickets... -_-" so, i waited at Gina's house [since i was going there with her] and my mom came to the rescue, first finding then delivering the prom tickets to me. Phew! Made it to Holiday Villa in the end, waited with everyone else for about an hour for it to begin... when it did, there was an annoying MC, loads of bands [unknown, yeah, but with a little touch up here and there, they just might make it..] some had their instruments drowning out the actual singing while a few were pretty good. then to dinner, a few more bands and th finale...dancing! lol...i had fun even if i can't really dance.. :p let the energy go! ^^
the sleepover after was fun, duh... we canceled the plan to go for mamak but it was alright, talking all night at Mel's place is good too [which is what we would've done at a mamak stall anyway, talk all night i mean.] loads of "interesting" ideas came up [potentials for nightmares i don't even want to discuss them! :p] and i figure we all got about 3-4 hours of sleep tops. dang, let's do it again! >D
Now, Christmas Eve... well, i wish you all out there Merry Christmas! Pray you're all well and jolly...stay happy though i know it can be tiring but have a blessed, blessed day! Cheers!

p/s - i know my account of the prom night and sleepover is pretty lousy but i just can't get myself typing today... T_T sorry!

still sleepwalking?!? wake up, baka!
so i never did get back to stretching out the length of that after-SPM post but i reread it and figured it suited my mood perfectly at that moment so it stays. i don't think it's been a very long while since after SPM but, everything seems different now. of course that feeling is reinforced by the absence of a maid in my household [she left around the end of my exams] but, doing chores is not the only change. now, the push to grow up has gotten a little stronger. it's all becoming a little confusing again but, that's life, ne? that's growing up and ,hopefully, growing stronger in learning how to cope, experience, enjoy. college hopping has been on for me throughout this year but in a way, i never took it too seriously before my exams were over. at that time, the focus was on the exams itself. now the focus has shifted along with the lifted pressure but this shoft of focus isn't allowing me to enjoy freedom entirely either. and yes, it so happens again that, now that i have time to draw, write fanfiction or whatever else artistic i wanted to during this year, i don't. i don't know why either...it's just that, i spend my days doing all sorts of things except those things i metioned and then, at the end of the day, i just haven't done anything. [sounds weird? yeah, now you know who i am]
but then again, no matter how much i seem to whine here [lol..whiny me..never thought about it before! :p] life isn't really that bad. i mean, i have gone out on trips ["too many" as shosh, mel and chelle will remind me, ne? -_- but it's only been 1 trip!] went to watch 'Alexander' at Summit again, 'The Incredibles' as a family outing [wasted money on teensy weeny A&W burgers.. -_-"] and then the church Youth Camp to Broga [the place is a little past Kajang and that's all i know..heh] pretty fun cause i loved the physical sport they had there..flying fox, obstacle course [i managed to get past the Tarzan swing without falling into the water! yay! ^^] and the high ropes [my favourite..^^]. And, yeah, met a new friend there [now i sound like a kindergarden kid..lol] cause i hadn't been attending youth meetings for about 4-5 months now and she started coming after i stopped. So the three days there were just right [one day to get settled, one day to play all the stuff and one day to pack up and leave.. :p] and when i got back, i was beat! didn't realise i was aching all over til i actually got back.. >_< then on Sunday, went to visit one of the UTAR branches with Regina [dipped into a magazine store for a while and got 6 Kreko magazines in a pack ^_^] and then today. end of story. but, nope, haven't decided what i want to do with my life, haven't decided which college to dump myself in so for now, i'll just go on living and eating chocolate, shall i? *cheers to utter randomness* ja, oyasumi!

p/s - WELCOME BACK, Shosh! i'm so sorry i still haven't seen you yet but i'm sure it'll be soon!!! and happy belated birthday too.. :D

and PAAAAAAAARRTTAYYY!!!
lol..nah, i'm actually not that crazy. yes, my days of SPM are over. finis. poof. heh..and crazy as this may sound [for someone who was seemingly waiting for this day a month ago], my feelings aren't quite as filled with the essence of joy as they should be. sure, my actions are a little crazy [screaming on top of my lungs after being dared to by weevern after the exam, heading straight to Summit to watch 'Shutter'] but they don't seem to be that real. ah well, it'll sink in after i've had a nice looooooooong while of freedom ^___________^ of course that means i'll just continue where i "left off". back to fanfiction, going out, drawing and wasting time. hah..i think i'll revise this post some other time. strangely not in the mood to post >_< [not a true blogger person..ack!] ja!

oops! ^_~
i know i said i wouldn't be on til after SPM but... just can't resist..heh heh.. T_T
well, what is this liddle blog for anyway but as a place for me to channel all my crazy moods and moments.. ;P
well, all i wanna say is, i'll be FREE after this! muahahahaha! no more annoying, stressful science papers [already no more physics, add maths and history! ^_______^] from now, four more papers : moral, EST, Chem n Bio. 'after SPM' is all that's keeping me going at the moment so..whoever approaches me this week, warning, you're not going to find a sane person.. @_@ ja ne! ^^

*off topic - eheh..i'm nuts. this could be taking obsession a lil too far [in this case, it's my obsession with the new Prince of Tennis ending song : Wonderful Day] i actually spent time online tonight not only searching for that song but 16 other songs as well just so i could burn them into a cd..^^" oh, and yes, my speakers are down..AGAIN..T_T

the speed of one week
i was taken by some form of panic attack the other night when i realised i had about 1 week more to go.. >_< good thing i could still sleep! heh.. so, i'm going to try and make this my last post [at least till that dreaded exam is over] and bury myself in books on some secluded mountain somewhere...lol..that's not going to happen! but seriously, the weeks just fly by these days. the last time i checked, there were roughly 2 and a half weeks more. now there's only one... T_T
...kneel,pray,breathe,write...
and i can't stop worrying.. no point in staying online much longer then.. sore ja! and good luck to all who are about to sit for SPM!


Dark shadow. Something has drawn you into darkness
in the past, and you're now trying to get out
of it. The darkness is already inside you, and
getting it out will be hard, but if you try,
maybe one day you can be who you want to be
again. Don't give in!!!

What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

omoshiroi, ne? ^^"

rock on, be in one with the beat
i read somewhere that music heals but it depends on what kind of music. rock music ,apparently, damages more than it heals [it also says that's why most teenagers are a little deranged..lol... nah, i can't remember exactly what they said so..] Odd since i use rock music as an outlet for those crazy days of confusion. the beats let me just focus on them, takes energy out of the flames of anger.. and then, there's those with lyrics that help. depresive lyrics but, inspiring [sometimes not in the right way but, heck, it works, ne?]

...

ano... i started out with that draft but can't remember what i'm supposed to follow it up with..? [probably i didn't know at that time either so... eheh] nyaa...tired.. nasi lemak does not give you energy.. -_-
anyway, today is the first day of 'puasa' for the those of islamic religion so, must keep that in mind and NOT commit any faux passes [eating/drinking in front of them... not only is it not polite, it's also mean.. -_-"] i forgot twice today so, so sorry to both my friends i 'tested'! *bows repeatedly* since this will be going on for a month, must remember must remember must remember...
oh, and since weevern seems to have started a chain reaction by almost having a 'nervous breakdown' in school today, i need to release that. as my parting shot today, WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*whoa..feels great* ^_~

...Sakura sae kaze no naka de yurete...
hah..that song's in my head now... nice.. ^^ [ne, chelle, it makes me think of your video.. just thought i'd mention that fact.. ^_^]anyway, it was another one of those funny days in which i start of thinking i'm tired but i'm so happy..lol.. so who says i have to start the day happy first? sometimes it's a gradual thing.. ^^ [i'm not sure if that's a good thing for the rest of you though.. ^^" gomen...]
but here's some not so nice news, after just finishing trials about a week ago, we now have a series of minor 'tests' the whole of next week [at least for me..*sniff*] and we had one today. BM and Bio..fun...yeah right. didn't feel like taking it at all so i just wrote a whole bunch of rubbish in there. i don't know. i should take this stuff seriously but i don't. geez. then, got back literature results.. ok, teacher was pretty merciful so, thank God! didn't do too badly but, will have to do better next time...hehe
wow..my keyboard/comp seems fast today.. at least it's taking commands faster than usual.. good comp.. ^^ right, erm...that was off track..warui -_-'
cycling in the rain. tiny sparkles of water fall on you, keeps the air cool, makes things a hazy blur... makes for interesting thinking atmosphere. [at least for slightly off the rocker people like me.. -_-']Anyway, that was what i did today cause i lingered in chelle's house after tuition a little too long.. eheh.. so, by the time i decided rain or no rain i have to leave, it was 6:30pm. nothing much to it.. just, i'll probably try that again some day just for fun. my remedy to days lost of playing in the rain without a care in the world.. *splash splash* ja! sayonara.. ^^

Run away, run away
What does one do when one is running and comes face to face with a wall? Turn and run in the other direction. Face to face with a boulder? Run around it. Friend in need? ... -stop- ...
i have to learn to stop running away from hostility, no matter how much like a blank wall it seems. I look back now and think, maybe i lost a friend because i was afraid of the hostility she showed once. just once and i left it. i admit, i didn't contact her again and i don't know if things could've been any different. if i could have salvaged a drifting friendship. i know, it takes two to tango, it takes two for a handshake, a conversation, a friendship. if she wanted to continue our friendship she might've called me but, sometimes it doesn't work that way.
I'm not looking back and regretting the past but, i think i should've learnt from that. hostility or frigidness doesn't mean that a friendship is over, so, gotta stop running away, take a deep breath and start walking. or maybe i should just run into it...! itai.. >_<"

examisu ova! [warui warui...i meant 'exam is over!' lol.. ^^"]
kyaa..at last this exam is over and though, i did ask for it [no, i'm not crazy, i just need these so-called minor exams to get me ready for the big one.. ack!] i was dead tired through the nights of preparation for it. and so, today, i spent a little more time lazing in bed and i think, have caught up with my essential ammount of sleep. survived! yatta! ^^ nyaa...i'm actually worried about the results of my literature exam... silly me, not knowing how to answer the very first and very last questions.. -_- but oh well, will await results with that crazy attitude typical of me til the last moment then, accept whatever i get.. lol..drama again..
sa! exams over for now so, enough about that. i'm awake again. alive. from that 'low' i was in, days are looking interesting and worth noticing again. writting, once more, engages me and things of interest to me can once again expect my full concentration when i do them instead of the mechanical way in which i went about a while before. it feels good to be awake though that 'sleep' was done out of no one's accord but my own. this time, i was actually lost but i think i've found my way again. gomen for 'abandoning' all of you... but i guess, this has taught most of you that i'm not an easy person to live with, ne? ^_~ take care, ja!

random//miscellanous
finally have the keyboard at my command and i don't know what to say..amazing isn't it? oh well, something will come to me eventually...i can't just pop up and say i'm alive,right? wait a minute, i can... 'I'm Alive!' but not.. cause see, i'm in the middle of trials right now. sigh. dying...a call from my aunty [my dad's eldest brother's wife]today reminded me that my results aren't just going to affect me and my parents but all my nearest and dearest relatives who await to see if i'm worthy enough to talk to next time..but, i'm being quite a tad bit melodramatic here..i just think that i'll face rejection if i don't do well so, in a way, i thank her.. and that just proves it! i have to go all out..! now to work my lazy ass off the chair... -_-"
then, been a little sick [not the crazy kinda sick mind you...^^] all through the exams... bad on the first day...toned down as the week went on. argh..don't want to talk about exams anymore.
geez...keep getting distracted from this post. [oh yeah, Lyon was online..finally..] so, have put off msn messenger and now trying to re-download ICQ..what i do with and without messaging systems.. ^^" right, tired, wanna go rest and sketch now. ja! sayonara!

an! forgot! good luck, everybody, for the rest of the exams! [if you do see this before the exam ends that is..^^]

-mechanical- [the fascination is mechanical]

limbs awash with heaviness,
you swing them out of bed,
run through the morning route,
no need to think,
it's all programmed inside your head.

na? gomen, it's midnight now and i guess i'm getting tired so, i'm half running on 'auto-pilot'and that's what started the whole 'mechanical' thing. it has been a constant wonder, how many people are actually running like this everday...[no reason, i'm just weird, that's all.. ^^] i think i remember days like that. and when i say remember, what i mean is i can conjure up an image of almost nothing much at all. days like these draw up a blank, just mundane actions like sitting up in bed or something. that's how little they mean. i won't waste it all on mechanical days.
sa! enough of that... i can't believe i'm encountering writer's block here as well as in that darned fic! >_< i.will.not.sleep. until i get this done, that is. well, what more is there to say? the 'holiday' week is almost over i don't feel like i've accomplished much [and i hate that feeling] been swaying between feeling totally lost and spinning among the sujects i study and being too lethrgic to bother. it's driving me nuts really. i.will.stop.saying.this.is.the.most.stressfull.year. ...gotta love the 'full-stop' ^^ so usefull. right, since i think i've wasted the title.. lol..i might as well stop here. oyasumi and have a better week next week. ^^ ja ne!

butterfly trail - spin, twirl, flit up and down
why butterfly? well, i was thinking of a rollercoaster really but it doesn't seem appropriate since my life isn't exactly going at a fast pace right now... and about that, well, i heard this quote once that said life is like a roller coaster with all the ups and downs [but then, where do you fit in the 'slow' moments? ;p] so yeah, to some extent that's true. only, my version of 'ups' and 'downs' at the moment is really on the small scale [it's even a little embarrasing..lol] like, i classify 'ups' as things that make me happy..i dunno..like managing to download a song i wanted, chatting for hours with friends? heheh..sorry, guys, if i talk your ears off.. ;p
anyway, long time no see to this blog... you miss typing here after a while..heh
so for the latest on what's been happening, let's see, random events in no particular order, i watched '50 First Dates' with my family yesterday [yes, again for me..^^] love that movie.. and went to Taylors College in the morning for their 'Career Assesment' day. It was mostly talks..you go into either lecture hall 1 or 2 depending on what you want to hear and let the lecture begin! eheh..biotech was interesting but i wonder if i actually have the capacity to do anything bout it... o_0
screwed up the second part of my literature exam last Friday i don't know what i was thinking..and it was the poems part! *sigh* obviously, that needs work too.. woops! i can't finish this post..my dad's calling [have to help make breakfast and this is why i don't like going online during the weekends : parents] ja!

no time to say 'hello-goodbye' i'm late i'm late i'm late!
no, i'm not really late but yes, there's 'no time' as everyone keeps telling me. sigh...no time no time. i should've counted how many times i heard that said. i know, that big exam is going to be my funeral..i only hope it's decent..but, well, the way all adults go on about it is like, it literally is going to be my funeral. geez...
well, anyway, so much for my rejoicing Fridays so quickly. this month, Homelife is to be held at my house again. tonight, i 'escape' by going off to the 'Satay Night' for young adults [thought technically and mentally, i'm not a young adult] but next week? *sigh* i'll have to think up something real good. this means of course that i won't be online tonight and there goes lotsa things i wanted to do.
right, anyway, wanna wish a happy belated birthday to weevern whose b'day was on the 3rd. this shall serve as a reminder on later years [if i ever do re-read my blog! lol]
random stuff :
-wrote a lousy rushed essay and didn't pass it up today-
-moaned/laughed bout HP3-
-found out truly how much i kno of english lit-
-bitterly regrets the lack of good reading material-
-*goes on sugar rampage*-

o-kay, that's enough crap... better get to using what 'time' i have more effectively..lol..ja!

blankly staring out at nothing at all. nothing registering in the mind just small random whisps of thought flying past. the drone of surrounding noises barely make a dent in the swirl of colours, sounds and scents. the heavyness of a body unwilling to surrender but unwilling to go on, sits lethrgic in statue-likeness allowing the cloak of time to swirl.... where do we go from here?
 
...slow incline week...
hn...nothing much was remarkable about this week except the way it started out. truth to tell, i can't remember very much except that it was definately not my favourite monday just because i was in a strange sort of mood. on the night before, Sunday, i had prayed for God to change my complacency even a little and so i suppose no change can come without us feeling at least a little strange about it and so i hope it was a change. i don't know. yet. then, tuesday came. a little better...i had a dentist appointment and right after, my mom made a stop at the market [yes, prompted a little by me...but she did ask!] and there aside from groceries, i got an FIR cd [Fairyland In Reality. they're a new chinese band who're really good. i like their style a lot]. Wednesday was my mom's birthday. i spent the night before making her card and present and so didn't get too much sleep, which in truth i don't need that much of anyway. and by this day, the week had already toned down on "it's" moodiness on me... i still didn't get any inspiration or urge to write/type anything strangely enough..i did have the mood to draw though. mostly, the week [whatever i've had of it] made me feel tired. i think it's changing for the better though. i guess i'm feeling better now despite that weird excerpt up there. don't mind it. it's just a random running of my thoughts and so...well, blogs are for publishing thoughts, right? kyaa...this seems so uncharacteristic... then again, i'm not posting this on friday like i usually do [i thought i'd post now in case i don't have time again tomorrow]. it's a thursday and i'm using an opportune moment to do this..heh...and what happened in school today? nothing special unless you count the giving away of a perfectly good 50 bucks to my school's cursed Aerobikton..grr..  right, anyway, i have a literature test tomorrow, good luck everybody who's in it with me! i sure haven't studied so i'd better do so later otherwise it's last minute cramming in Chelle's house again.. >_<>
hah! so, nothing much more and let this be a closing of the..uhm...lower side of this week and the celebration of the coming of another Friday [tomorrow]! ^^ ja!

p/s - oh yeah, sorry, all, about the wordings last week..i know i caused much sight problems because if the teeny-tiny font..well, it's all better now! you can look again..  ^_^

Countdown to Friday list
...I know I haven't blogged for a while...but heck! i don't have much time online so why waste time dwelling on that?! Well, this will be pretty funny [weird] but, now i'm online, i'm going to put up a list i've compiled over the week of all the things i need/want/have/love to do online which is now limited to a God-blessed day : Friday. So! in celebration of this day, let me unravel the list!
 
1. visit fanfiction.net
2. read fanfics [and review some..heh]
3. check e-mail <
4. answer Shosh's e-mail
5. download mp3s <_<
6. check tenipuri fansites and find more info
7. check everyone's blogs.. ^^
8. search for more HXH manga scantalations
9. do whatever suits my mood :D
10. Blog! <
 
Kyaa...a relatively short list but one that, if i manage to accomplish all in the few hours, gosh! all of them take quite an ammount of time each and i don't have much to delegate..*sniff* in fact, i have even less if my brother is home so, well, all i'm asking is that he follow my parents to Homelife! Brother-free Friday! okay, okay, won't be so mean...^_~ but see! he has taken up even more of my time just by making me talk about him! Sa! off to whatever else is on the list now! Ja ne!
 
oh yeah, for those who love Cardcaptor Sakura and Prince of Tennis, check this : http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1968049/1/ happy reading.. ^_~

and evilness takes me....ahahahahhahahahaha!
ok, you'll think i've lost it but, i've just watched Malaysian Idol and oh my god! that's all i can say! 'Oh My God!'ok ok, there were maybe two or three i think could sing [i liked the indian girl who made 1 record with her friend before this..she's good]..and the guy with no arms wasn't as bad as they made it sound either..[maybe not commercial enough though] but the others! wow! their reactions, what they said after that...lol! it's soooo funny! some cried [ok, i'll let these off the hook] and some raged [seriously..attitude problem,man..] there was this girl that the judges told to work on her singing and she got mad and started doing that sarcastic thing [apa? tone saya salah? rolling her eyes and stuff] so the judge told her she was rude as she went out and she shouted 'So what?!' sheesh...another guy sang, went out and complained to all the reporters and everyone bout how unfair it was, complained, complained, complained then took his helmet, jacket and everything..then stormed back in the middle of another guy's audition ,just because another fellow [who went around in a shopping mall singing and asking people if he could sing] had another try and was accepted, and demanded whether it was fair if someone auditioned twice and got it then walked out again..hmm...
but of course the most hillarious was towards the end with these two guys. one was a really, really avid Britney Spears freak who sang 'Toxic' and was spinning and..uhm..dancing? the other guy was even better..he sang Kylie Minogue's 'I'm Spinning around' and boy, his dance moves were...special. it's a guy and his gyrating and smacking his butt and all that..oh dear i really really lost it there! [bwahaha!] i don't think i'll ever forget..
but then, through the show, i couldn't help thinking 'the judges aren't really as profesional as the American Idol ones' they weren't really subtle..and most of what they said wasn't funny or even lighthearted..i dunno..i'm just gonna keep watching for the 'great' singers..>_< k, i've been evil..i'm gonna be good now...........*bursts into insane laughter* oops...zannen munen mata raishuu! ^^v

-Comeback?-
this'll be a short one..somehow, though i should have a ton of things to say [due to short absence from the world of blog ^_~], i don't really feel like saying anything today accept, i'm still as in love with Prince of Tennis as ever [you all know which 'prince' i love..^_^] and yeah, back to this good old template i love so much..heh..i just can't live with another one..and especially not the one i tried out before changing back to this..^^"
oh right, there's going to be a big gathering with all aunts, uncles and cousins from my mom's side coming to my house today..hah..wonder why i almost never feel enthusiastic about this anymore considering i've been going to these gatherings since i was a kid and we haven't had a gathering in quite a while now..[it's just that i always figure i'm gonna be bored..haih..] k, better go.. hopefully will be able to come online again at night..ja!

p/s - how could i forget to mention the literature test? oh well, our first official literature test..first half was taken on monday and the second half today. i figure i'm pretty bad at answering questions..dumb..

testing..hope this works..i like this layout but it didn't seem to come out right when i last checked..hmm..

Which Josh Groban song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ok, just that for now..nah, this is a quick before dinner test thing..i'm going to be online later tonight so, gotta leave something for me to do..heh! ja!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...nostalgia strikes??...
o-k! back! ^^ nyaa..tired.. have been tired for the past week, actually and though it might be blamed on the exams [yes, i had one whole week of exams last week and one traumatic day filled with all three chemistry papers.. >_<], i don't think it's so. i still think it's the weather..grr..it's still that hot..*starts steaming*
anyway, i just finished watching Princess Diaries again. really lovely story with this simple message to it [or at least, that's how i interpreted it.. ^^"] 'find yourself then just be who you are' it really goes along the lines of finding your own sense of confidence. and now i realise how long it's been since i watched those shows..heh..[abandoned in my blinding love for anime..eheheh.. ^^"]
and to add to it all, we were studying this poem at literature today about childhood. really nostalgic feel. if i actually read, think, and take that poem to heart, i'd probably start going back to days of kindergarten where everything was easy and you actually believed that the prince and princess lived happily ever after once they entered the castle. lol, yeah, they lived happily for about three months max til the next little tiff came along.. :p nope, i am just going to keep believing that about them. after all, they're characters...! they're supposed to have happy endings..[actually, they're supposed to have whatever ending the author wants them to have..heh] so, big deal all reality people, why crash that whole load of bitter/sour/whatever-flavoured reality on innocent little kiddy tales anyway? what's wrong with believing in a little happiness sometimes? i know, it doesn't happen in real life [or so they say], there's no such thing as happily ever after..but, well, if in your mind, there already is no happily ever after, then, geez..what do you expect out of life?
kay, i'm done ranting that part out now.. ^_^ so, i'm going to go read the next chapter of that HunterXHunter manga i was downloading..ja!

so HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!! >_<
no, that was not about a person, though i'd much prefer that it was. sigh..really, the weather is seriously a pain. i'm already getting rashes and it's really hard to sleep cause even the bed seem to provide heat! grrr...yeah, it's really out in the open now. I. HATE. HEAT. and it seems they say it's here to stay til september..gosh, i'll die by then... X_x aside from that, it's so annoying because no matter how many time you take a shower, you're bound to feel all sticky again..siiiigh..
oh well, before then, i might as well mention that, sigh, exams are here again...and it started today for me. physics paper 2 was hell. i practically died there and as usual, when this kind of stress hits me, i went mad. hyper rubbish-talking, really nuts mad...pity all those around me at that time. so, might as well slip a quick apology on here [even though they won't see it.. heh..]



POSSESSED EYES


What kind of anime eyes do you have? (picture results)
brought to you by Quizilla

o_0 i'm possesed? heh heh heh...muahahahaha! ekhem..no, am not. what makes them think so, anyway? [no doubt, all who saw me today directly after the physics exam will definately believe this result..lol] so, yeah, yay..me be possesed..now, if you'll excuse me, i shall continue doing whatever possesed people do...*chases random Tennis no Ohjisama objects* ^_^" ja!

?!?Community Service?!?
Nani ga?! Me doing community service?? lol. No, it's not that i'm a number one anti-community-service person or anything but, i never thought (or envisioned) myself doing it for the sake of a school moral project.. >_< and what did me and my group 'choose' to do? paint the benches of a field opposite the school, that's what. not bad though, considering we don't have to pay for the paint and all [paid for by the park locals] and we actually got allowance for break-time.. hehe.. so, it's not so bad really...i do like painting...and i realised, the painting i've been doing over two days [not consecutively] actually got me out of the house, into a park and exercising in what has been a long,long,long,long,long time... yes, ever since moving to my current area i've only been to the park regularly for roughly a year. my other time? spent in front of this computer of course.. ^__________^
speaking of which, i was actually hit by a crisis i haven't felt in a long time, just now. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ONLINE!!! lol...so, what did i do? browsed around tennipuri fanfics at fanfiction.net, daring one of them to catch my attention... and then, randomly opening another window and typing 'bored prince of tennis'. oh boy, somehow, that led me to a nice list of tennipuri sites [most of them unencountered as of yet] and, amazingly, these sites had mp3s.. *_* mission accomplished. i am once again downloading to my heart's content even though i had just recently [day before yesterday, to be exact] burned a nice list of tennipuri mp3s into a cd ^^ oh well...musn't fight my "destiny", ne? ja!

*skips of to see what else she may unearth*

watashiwa dare?
juroku sai. ne, looking back on years and days,..lol..suddenly i sound so serious.. o_0 i don't help but find changes in me, in friends or people around me..even in my suroundings..whether unkowingly or unknowingly, most changes came from circumstance. change of self came from need. though i can't be a fair judge of myself and say everything was a change for the better, i can say something was learnt from it. something was taken to build up whatever you see [or don't see] today. eto, it feels odd sometimes when i stop and think that question [in whatever language] 'watashiwa dare?' -who am i- and then compare the adolscent kid to that childish, weird fanciful kid who just entered form 1 and now to this still childish, still fanciful but slightly weirder brat.. =p yeah, yeah, doesn't seemed to have changed much but like i always say when relating an experience, you'll have to live it out to understand and life is something like that. you'd have to live out someone else's life to understand what set them flying, and experiencing new winds, or dragged them to the depths of oceans to collect the pearl(s) at the end of the long dive.
so, new year, new stuff, drag some old ones in, ah! there's your 'clean' slate for the year.. ^_^"

oh ya, to everybody who wished me 'happy birthday' today, arigato gozaimasu!

chelle-chan : thanks a lot for the little dream book, poster and candy.. about the candy, um...you should've known what dangers you unleash..>_<

nyaa..i didn't really talk about today, ne? well, nothing much happened anyway..just wanted to update and say, we have gotten a little further on our moral project! we have gotten the stuff we need! now, to actually start it.. T_T

-Happy 25th Anniversary SJAOG-
ok, SJAOG is the name of the church i attend..yep, it's reached it's 25th "birthday" lol...so, in order to celebrate, the commitee members arranged a dinner with a worship service, sermon, food [of course..it's a dinner! :p] and a performance by HT Long that malaysian Elvis guy...
to cut the long story short, just wanted to say, i'm so glad the performance is over! ;p in the past week, i've been pretty busy [yes, watching tv, namely Prince of Tennis, keeps me busy too..it helps exercise my poor lil attention span..lol] with the practises and stuff..it's fun and yeah, something of a workout..heh..but stage-fright is no joke to me..so, when it finally came, this time, thank God! i didn't get too nervous and managed to make it ok..phew! X_x there's another performance i managed to conquer..hehe..even if it is just a worship backup dance thing for three of the songs...but the positive thing is, i had fun, more experience, had some exercise [finally for this lethargic person! T_T] and actually did something for church..lol
now, i want to get some sleep...ja! oyasumi! *yaaaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnn*

-_- / hoi hoi!
does that "title" explain anything? lol..ok, i'll clear it up anyway..it says i'm tired...waii...my mind is hyper-active but my body refuses to comply..*sniff*...i need more candy...T_T preferably 'sherbert orange' my favourite source of energy-hyper-boost rush but i don't have any of those!! *sits down and cries* oh well...hopefully i'll perk up later..no point sitting and crying [like the usagi in the anime sailormoon which i hated.. >_<] so!
what's there to say...last friday was my school open day..i didn't go...my mom was busy so she didn't go.. ^_________^
then, weevern and alisa came over and we made a super quick trip to pyramid...me got HunterXHunter part 1 and 2!!! yatta! happy...^^ the only thing is, it's in japanese with chinese subtitles..nyah..anyway, i'll finally be able to hear their voices in japanese...hee! also, a two characters from Prince Of Tennis have the same seiyuus as two characters from HunterXHunter.
will be going to church later for dance practise again... i like it and all but today i'm tired.. -_- nya~ am really hoping i won't get a bout of stage fright on that day [which is tomorrow! eep!] wish me luck! ganbaru!

ano, chelle-chan, what does this mean : 'zannen munnen mata raishuu' ? help me out here, ne? arigato!

k, ja ne! oh, and my last announcment : Eiji Kikumaru is mine!! lol...[there she goes again.. yeesh.. -_-]

Tennis no Ohjisama!! ^^
yatta! am very happy i finished the first box set of 'Prince of Tennis' anime courtesy of Weevern [honto ni arigato!! ^____^] it is so good...hehe... initially, i wasn't really interested even though i'd seen it quite often on the sites i search but after watching a little of it last Saturday and getting hooked [we had to stop in the middle of a MATCH! >_<], i continued on monday then finished off the first boxset on thursday and am now officially hooked...muahaha another craze strikes! and my HunterXHunter craze isn't even over yet...[all i need is some money...and..lol, yeah right i'll get that.. :p]
So talk about a clash when i Midvalley with Alisa and Weevern last Saturday [weevern had to get her hands on the 2nd Prince of Tennis boxset ^_~ it's that addictive..] and zoomed to Animetech. They had the HunterXHunter OST Greed Island!!! *cries* and i didn't have money.. *sniff* i want...then of course, they had Prince of Tennis..
Before that [the trip to Midvalley, i mean], we were at this play held in Actor's Studio, Bangsar played by the Bell Shakespeare Company and gosh, they were good...it was a literature group thing [literature class outting, something like that, the teacher took us there] and well, how good was it? Almost all of us were laughing til we cried.. :p i can't quite describe the scenes..they have to be seen for anyone to understand what i'm talking about..lol...thinking bout it makes me want to laugh again..
now that i've ranted on and released what's mainly on my wishlist, i'll go now.. ^_~ ja ne!

*thumbs up to Bell Shakespeare and TenniPuri!! ^^

Chicken Soup For The Soul

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame,
whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know.
We miss out some warmth in human relationship to give each other
support.
Treasure what you have. Just a little story for you~
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were
a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy
was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle
open.
He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard.
The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and
playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated with its colour, drank it all. It happened
to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the
child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died.
The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he
looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
QUESTIONS :
1. What were the four words?
2. What is the implication of this story?
ANSWER : The husband just said "I Love You Darling" .
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behaviour. The
child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no
point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to
keep the bottle away, this will not happen.
No point to blame. She had also lost her only child.
What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the
husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there
would be much fewer problems in the world.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with but with a single step."
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and
fears AND you will find things are actually not as difficult as you
think."


[sad story...so many 'ifs' to it and pointing fingers to be cast but truly, acting as the husband did would help make the world a better place..]

areeee!! i forgot my lil bro's birthday!! T_T"
oopsie...just like the title says, i forgot my little brothers birthday...T_T ok, no, i did not literally forget it but this is, i think, the first year i didn't get anything for him...yeah, evil nee-chan...gomen...^^"
so, even though he will never see this, Happy Birthday Aaron! lol....nevermind, i'll get him something for a belated birthday present..^^ now, what shall i get him...hehe...i'll figure out something but once again, anyone who has suggestions please tell, ne?
k, that's all...i just wanted to say that..ja ne! ^^

p/s - edited thanks to chelle sensei.. arigatou! ^_^

ladida..butterfly colours on a life like a butterfly...
lol..what is with me and colours these days, ne? o_0 personally, i don't know...but, don't worry, by 'life like a butterfly', i don't mean that life is short like a butterfly's..just that, when i think of a butterfly, i think of something floating away over the air. Light, not always carefree but seemingly so, dipping this way and that [going down but still, always floating up]. Sometimes, i think it's that way..^^ but that's just to clear things up [just so you don't think this is some morbid nutter typing out every ounce of morbidness possible..^^" sumimasen....] So, enough about 'life' and all that. I already have to learn that for my literature [poems on 'Conceptions about the end of life' don't get me wrong, i think it's an interesting topic that's why i chose it, demo...] so, i won't talk about it here..
kyaa...my 1 week holiday is ending so fast..! T_T noooooo! don't go!!! don't leave me, precious holiday!!! *cries* i can't go back and face all teachers and the sadness of school life yet! *sniff* okay,okay, actually, i haven't done any homework so far [4 days into the holidays?? shame on me! >_< lol] that's why i don't want to go back and face the music.. :p but ok, i'm a student and this is my last year of school so, might as well, ne? yeesh..i can hear the screams of 'Gothika' from from here [my mom's watching it in her room behind a closed door..must that woman scream so loud?? -_-"] and my brother's off-key humming..*sigh*...the beautiful sounds of home...lol
on a totally unrelated note, i've finally cleared my comp of it's 'load' by burning a lot of my mp3s into two cds and clearing of an old RO file... yippee! free space ^^ now i can download more...kekeke... which means, i'm on full mp3 hunt again..anybody got suggestions? ^_~
k, since my blog is so boring, i shall put a quizzie pic here..[i took the quiz just cause i liked the pic ^_~ Killua is mine! :p]


You're Killua!


Which Hunter x Hunter Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


ja ne! and enjoy the rest of your holidays!

Nothing lasts forever...how long is forever?
Why...? is a question that's possible to put to almost anything.
In fact, it is a question on it's own. So, here's a personal 'why?'
from me ; 'Why does nothing last forever?' The obvious ; well,
neither will i or anyone else. Not on this earth anyway. All of life,
there will be goodbyes to say, goodbyes to be received, farewells...
and i requote this ; 'The world is not beautiful, so it is...' Saying
goodbye is not beautiful (in fact it's sad..i never liked saying
goodbye) but in it's own malancholic quality, it is. It's one of th colours
with which to paint the world.

- gomen ne, such a bleak picture...0_o demo, it stays...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just felt like doing that...hehe... well, maybe it's because i just finished half my exams last week and am going to face the 2nd half next week... >_< i'm gonna die...lol, nah, i won't say that, have enough of reality so might as well not say it *sigh* anyway, will talk about exams after it's over or when the results come out..maybe. In the meantime, GOOD LUCK to everyone else out there having exams.. ^_~
Well, last weekend, i went on a second trip inside a college [TARC]...yippee, fun..lol.. [chelle, can you believe that's where i bought my chinese version of kreko? :p] let's see, my impression on it? an ok variety of courses but so far i'm only eyeing mass communications [yeah, sad case, i know..it's just that other things don't interest me -_-] so, i guess i shouldn't talk about variety..hehe...went with Regina, Ai Vee and their moms so, the mothers were the ones bringing us to the counsellors to tell us stuff bout the courses and all...a little helpful but i still don't know what to do =S oh well, all will come in time, ne? ^^ then they let us tour around the place... the dorms..err..well, the beds kinda stink but it's not as bad as some other places i guess. still, renting a house sounds better..[and looks better..hehe] the library looks cool but books in there are mostly research books and the only non-science books in there are literature..lol..then, they offer quite a few art courses so there was a computer lab, pretty big, and some other classrooms which i've forgotten what they call them..hehe
Last night, the Homelife was held at my house...-_-' had to be there of course but luckily, Ai Vee was there so, saved! hehe...if not, i'll be sitting there stupidly being the only teenager there. not only that, yesterday's topic had a little to do with 'youths' so lucky i'm not the only one there...^^" it's going to be held in my house for the whole of this month. i shall take it as an experience to learn new simple recipes! hehe...might as well learn a little "cooking" after all i do need to eat next time..lol...
oh, by the way, latest craze? [yes, changed again...hehe.. :p] HunterXHunter!!! *hearts* i love HXH!! hehe..so, that's partly what i've been doing all exam week..[no wonder i'm not confident,ne? ^_~"] downloading the manga from a site...hee..must start burning them into a cd so i don't overload my comp..heh... k, ja ne! i better go sleep now..oyasumi!

-20 Valentine's Day 04-
Believe it or not, this is the first V-day i've enjoyed thoroughly.. :p It had to start with school though but, well, at least the school part sorta justifies te rest of the day i spent out [at least i studied a little...hehe] After school, i came home to change then to Kamini's Belated Birthday [her b'day's actually on the 10th of Feb] lunch at Summit [It was an outing actually but I had to leave early] and was late for it because some people came to my house today to fix the kitchen [yeah, fixing the kitchen on this day...lol]
Anyway, spent the rest of the day, evening til night in church, helping out with decorations, helping some friends get ready with their formal dresses...practising in the skit for later [miniature role..but fun..i love production/behind the scenes ^^] Was doing all that from bout 2:50pm til about 6 then some people came early while we were still dressing up [all the pretty people..formal dresscode..so,yeah..] and my high heels turned on me.. -_- one of the straps came off while i was rushing to, had to fix it and it took so long..sigh..not my day indeed..humph..lol
Funny thing is, i missed most of the actual events (was the usher/doorgift person..whatever..greeting person..:p) and dinner..i just had the sparkling grape juice, yummy! ^^ i like..hehe
then, out back, there was a little panic going on cause the food we catered came a little behind schedule but, it worked out (you'd actually get to see me waitress..haha..no, i didn't spill anything..) but after dinner, there were a few events then the skit. i think everyone did their best today. Above all the practises, today was the one where everyone gave their all..[bet shot kinda thing] ^__________^ it feels good to be done but, as usual, i'll miss the practise times and all...Oh, and i didn't mention that the tickets are all sold out, right? not full attendance though...minus four people..which, still isn't bad..as you can guess, i was hyper all through..good thing, cause i needed the energy..hehe..if i'd known, i would've brought candy..T_T oh well...then, i got back at 10:45 pm after missing 8 calls from my mom [major ouch..she was pissed off because of that] She wouldn't talk to me in the car and all..really wish she wouldn't worry so much and all..letting go is letting go..after a few years living it out like that, what can you expect? 'sides, i like it this way..anyway, needless to say, i still enjoyed it..lol..ja! oyasumi!

mixed up//no title
Was thinking about those books i've read which seemed to have sad endings. I say 'seemed' because i don't actually know the ending due to this habit i have of reading a book, then while coming to the end, if i feel it's going to be sad, i'll lose the mood to continue and just stop there. Well, if some things could be like that, just close the book and never touch it again so you don't see/experience the sad ending and start another book, things would be different....[don't ask me how..i'm not too sure what i'm getting at here either..heh..] but it wouldn't be fair to the author who probably wanted it that way and maybe the end was meant to convey some message [which it also probably is >.<], then, it's actually up to us whether to face it or not...
On a totally unrelated topic, i finished the anime Mel lent me [arigato,Mel! ^^] called 'The Beautiful World'. Quite thought provoking. It has these thoughts/quotes in them and one of the earlier ones was, 'the world is not beautiful, so it is...' i thought about that one after that..[yes, i'm someone who thinks too much sometimes...so sue me..lol] in a way, it's true. 'the world is not beautiful' when you think about all the plagues, famines, wars...all sorts...and yet, these things somehow make us appreciate what we have more 'so it is...' then, there's more quotes from that anime which i found interesting...the main character's characteristics also brings something new...not quite sure what. To get to the point, i like it lots...:) eventhough the second cd was hard to watch..it's scratched i think.. >_< oh well, count your blessings as they say....^^"

?A Relatively Bad Day?
*sigh* first off, i skipped school today and went to Taipan with Ally. ((Managed to get boxset of a Japanese serial i'm watching..yay!^^)) Was thinking to get back by 3pm, [pretty early by my standards] when my mom called, somehow she was sick home from work..bad luck, huh?..and she was a little upset because i was out and all that and she was worried [worried mom=very bad news X_X] and picked me up from Al's place. Didn't get that much nagging in the car, thank goodness ((though i know i'dve deserved it....meh..)) So, got home and just spent most of the afternoon in my room finishing off some work and even taking a nap..[weird coz i don't often take naps..*yawn* oh well...]
Then, around dinner, my pet sis called, quite angry with me because i just recently changed my handphone number and only managed to tell her through ICQ and e-mail...it seems, i was lucky she checked her ICQ yesterday cause she doesn't always..so, she was mad when she called me..feeling quite guilty now...kyaa...((yes, i think too much sometimes...T_T)) But then, on the good side, i'm amazingly in a good mood...or at least have been for the day...heheh...yeah, i'm crazy..a good mood kinda helps make days like this [or even more hectic] bearable, so, must remember, start the day HaPpY! and my usual insufferable "advice": SMiLe!! Ja ne! ^___________________________^

p/s-of course it helps that i got the drama boxset...lol.. :p ok, enough about that... anyway, for the record, will be going to church tomorrow morning for some youth thingy [it's actually called T.R.U.E but it feels a little odd typing that..heh] umm...let's see, what else going on...right, chelle, you'll be getting your Haibane Renmei back..soon..! ;p i liked it so much, i wanna buy a set too..hehe...and, yes, that means that's another anime on my list..^^ keep em' coming...
by the way, Josh Groban's new album is really dreamy.....just felt like saying that..:D hai! i'm done now..oyasumi!

Happy Chinese New Year 2004
Konnichiwa..just want to wish you all a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR after my long absence form blogging... ^^ so, first of all, hontoni gomenasai! i didn't blog because i was banned offline on weekdays and weekends are terrible for coming online because my parents are in and i actually get scutinized..and time when i do get online, i don't feel like blogging... :p [yes, long-winded apology..must be telling me to shut up and get on with it, ne? hehehe]

nothing much been happening...this chinese new year, been going for lunches and dinners at aunties houses..all taking turns to cook. the usual tradition of playing mahjong [no, i don't play. i watch.. ;)] and the kids hanging on the video games. hee...the usuals...i kinda like it though..but this year, i do like chinese new year this year but the year itself, i dunno..a bit tiring..hehe...haih..nevermind..will get on with it. anyway, whether i like it or not, it will still go on right? so, might as well make it a HAPPY, PROPEROUS [sort of] & FUN new year... :) have a good year, everybody.. ja ne!

~*Merry Christmas!....& a Happy New Year! *sings last bit*
was supposed to post really early this morning (3am) but blogger wouldn't let me on...T_T must've been full of other people with the same idea..lol. ok, since i didn't mention my singapore trip (which was two days after the langkawi one..), i shall do so for the Merry Christmas part of this post...
Took a night train from KL Sentral right down to Singapore...didn't sleep much on that ride..hehe.. spent almost all my time there going out to places like the Science Centre, Night Safari [this has really cute animals..^^ i love the howling wolves..], PDA and video camera hunting for my mom and dad...oh yeah, i did visit the Body Works exhibition they were having at the Expo over there too..pretty cool seeing how they slice the bodies up just so you can see what's inside...=p Yep, spent Christmas there..no, didn't see the Christmas lights on Orchard Road..[ singapore was packed with people..! even my favourite way to travel ,when we're over there, the MRT was packed with people] so, too bad, had to miss this time...hehe... aside from that, watched LOTR: The Return of The King over there! i wanna watch it again!!! even though, *sniff* the ending is rather sad... and there were somethings that were in the book that they couldn't put on screen..oh well, it was good anyway ^.^
so, on the last day, didn't do much..went window shopping, came back to my aunt's condominium and swam in the swimming pool before heading for the train station for another train ride at night..lol.. got back at dawn (about 6am) a little tired but ok cause this time managed to sleep properly..=p

Now, for the happy new year part..(yes, i know, very long-winded..don't have to read this if you don't want to..=p) Last night, it was new year's eve (nevermind bout the day part..chelle came over and we spent most of the time online and reading her Tsubasa manga..cheers,Chelle! ^^) so, went out with my family for dinner and was supposed to have Baskin Robins after that or at least to take home and savour around midnight..lol..but sadly, a lot of people with the same idea as us [copyright!!!] jammed up Baskin Robins first..so, did without the ice-cream and my parents dropped me of at church for the watchnight service where there's a sermon that sort of sums up the whole year..supper, and a small countdown..this time, we watched the fireworks they were having at Sunway Pyramid..yeah, don't have our own fireworks, share in with others'...not bad, very pretty fireworks too..wonder what they would've looked like if i were at Pyramid though..must really be very nice...*_* and of course, searching for victims [HAPPY NEW YEAR scream..^.^ deafening and fun..] and many victims there were too..uh huh...don't worry, they're not deaf..i'm not quite that loud ^_~ [though the 4 others combined with me, are..muahahaha]
I enter the new year with mixed feelings though..you know the scene in the first movie of LOTR when Sam and Frodo are crossing the field and Sam says at one part of it, 'When i cross over this part, it'll be the furthest i've ever been from the Shire'? it's something like that..2003 is technically 1 day behind but today, 2004, is also sort of like a year away already. if you're wondering what's with the dramatics, it's because i have a very important exam around the end of this year... oh well, won't talk about it here...lousy way to start the new year..hehe..in fact, since it's a new year, i shall begin tweaking with my blog template..[not that i can guarantee any success...>_< but i'll try anyway..^^]
and that was my New Year's Report...ja ne! and have a - Happy New Year-

home sweet home...?
i never thought i'd say that..lol..home sweet home...more like home sweet comp...;p muax! missed you, comp! hehe..oh, and friends too of course...^_~
now, what's there to say..hmm...oh, of course, what did i do in Langkawi..i arrived there by boat along with my cousins and uncle and aunts. first thing they did? grocery shopping..lol...looking for bread, butter..then, on the way to the chalet [which is practically across the island] we stopped by a small shop to buy my cousin some new sandals and a few tins of Shandy..[yes, my uncle was planning to party..^^"] finally arrived at the chalet, admired it..argued with my bro for the couch..lol...dumped my bag in the closet [no point unpacking...i'll hust have to pack up again...=p] then pretty much lazed around til evening when went down to the beach. walking along the beach is nice..even nicer at night [if only there were no such things as mosquitoes!T_T] cause you can see lots of stars not like the city. there weren't many stars on the first and second night, though and the days were a little cloudy.
Aside from that, didn't do much..most of the time spent in Langkawi was spent on the beach, shopping [only the last two days and i don't get to buy much..>_<], checking out certain 'high-class' hotels [and these are really nice..i wish i could stay there! hehe] and visiting places of course. around the third day, we took a boat trip down to the mangroves, fish farm and bat caves. first, we were taken down to the mangroves to see eagles. and boy, were there a lot of eagles! the boatman fed them pieces of chicken meat so they all came swooping down..nice sight but very hard to get on camera...my aunt tried...hehe
next spot was the fish farm. they had a friendly sting ray there..hehe...so cute..all you have to do is stand beside the netting thingy and the sting ray will come up. other fish are a little scarier...the guy who takes care of all this was feeding the fish to show them to us and two kinds of fish were vicious..jumping up to get the food...and the guy said that they do bite so don't put your hand in the water..lol..there was even a lil baby squid smaller than your palm..that was really cute...^^ and speaking of cute, there was this french family also visiting the place and the small son [bout 3 years old] kept saying 'oolala' to everything..hehe..kawaii...!
after having lunch there, we headed for the bat cave where there are mini bats..and lots of them! all hanging upside down trying to sleep when here we come a-kacau-ing... poor bats..can't even sleep in peace.. cave wasn't that big so finished exploring quite fast and took a boat ridethrough the mangroves. the scenery coming out of the mangroves is beautiful..never knew it looked like that before..
the day after that was spent shopping with my mom aunties and uncle..shopping is shopping so nothing to say there..hehe...just, after that, me and my aunt dropped by the Summer Palace [the one they used to film Anna and the King] i didn't even know it was there..heh...inside is nice but too bad they don't seem to be mantaining it too well...and obviously, it's smaller than the one you saw in the movie...ok, nothing more to say now..[my dog's howling in the background...annoying old newspaper people..-_-] sayonara!

thoughts
some well put words...by a comedian too..think about it..=)

A wonderful Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less
time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing
the street to meet a new neighbour.We conquered outer space but not
inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fa! ncier ho uses, but
broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality,
One night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from
cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in
the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and
a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit
delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
Going to be around forever.


Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because
that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but
most of all mean it.

A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of
you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person
will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the
precious thoughts in your mind.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.


HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out non essential numbers. This includes age, weight and
height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends.. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are! alive.< BR>
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

ending wipes all memory of beginning
Random title brought on by thinking bout all the movies and stuff i've watched and about memories in general. As you go along, as everybody says, you start from the begining and follow through with events right up til the end. Eventhough sometimes [or most of the time] I know that the carefree feeling at the beginning will change later as the story proceeds, I still want it to go on just for the reason of knowing what happens next. But now i'm just thinking, how different endings are from beginnings and how they almost always seem to wipe out or change our views of what happened at the beginning. And then, when i think of the word beginnings, i think of three things [odd as they may seem], Lord of the Rings [the book], friends and Shaman King [lol...yes, obsession..laugh all you want..or sweatdrop..whichever you prefer..^^"]
okay, okay..shall stop harping on..hehe..i'm just bored..staying home all day for weeks can drive someone mad you know..T_T what have i been doing at home? well, watching tv has pretty much lost it's catch on me cause there's nothing much good to watch anymore...*cries* no good korean shows, japanese..NO ANIME! sigh...i'm deprived..uh huh..*nods* [don't bother..she's nuts again..this time, at least she had the courtesy to tell you why..-_-"] anway, SO, i've been online for as much time as possible playing RO or reading fanfics while listening to mp3s ^^ all in all, life isn't too bad..heh..btw, Congrats and arigatou, chelle, on your fanfics! i like! ^_____________^ call this advertising if you like, such lovely fics deserve advertising..! okay, i think i've bored you all stupid by now [do i now hear cries of "WHO'RE YOU CALLING STUPID?!?" ?] eheh...no insult intended..^^" sumimasen..anyway, shall go now..ja!

things i learnt from RO
never knew playing games could teach me stuff...well, here's a few of the things i learnt;
1. how to read maps.. [a little bit..hehe..] this was tested the other day when we were driving around Sri Muda trying to find my dad's friend's place. not bad...i finaly can read a map properly [sort of] !! ^^

2. cute little things are not to be looked down on [i'm serious..the evilness is, you think, 'oh, this thing is so cute and tiny, can't hurt much, right?' next thing you know, 2 whacks from the thing and you're dead..lol]

ok, so it's not that much..but considering it's a game..originally unintended to teach you anything...not bad, ne? nevermind, this is just another random post. have been deprived of my normal online time for roughly four days. my cousin's staying over [has been since sunday.] so, they've been playing RO non-stop..meh...evil hijackers..lol...joking..
last weekend, i was at PD, celebrating my god-mom's birthday. just an overnight stay. quite fun i guess..hehe...the funny part was, my brother got scared during the night bout uh...coconuts..yeah, you heard right..think along the lines of erm..you know, in america they have the headless horseman and his pumpkin, well, i kinda [jokingly..^^''] induced the idea of headless horseman and his coconut? lol...stupid idea..freaked my bro out anyway..=p
well, that's bout it...need to get into a good posting mood again..til then, ja ne!

end of all things educational...almost lol
yep, last day of school..i'm not there...^^ and what's "worse", i just got up. the dream i got last night was one of those 'waking dreams' again... been getting a lot of those lately but i can't quite remember what happens in them. only vaguely. they're interesting cause in them, it's like i am awake and all sorts of things are happening that could possibly happen in real life...on the negative side though, they're tiring. somehow, after awakening from these dreams, it's like i haven't slept. sigh. and it doesn't help when i'm tired after coming back from school [okay,okay, the days i actually go to school =p] in this last week of school, teachers are extremely busy so they're on the lookout for 'victims' -_- also known as 'students'. spent tuesday and thursday running round school helping a few teachers. thursday wasn't that bad though, spent most of my time in the computer room typing stuff and before that, finally getting round to finishing my oral exam. phew! got relatively good marks compared to my last one..^^ oh, and the school has finally decided to distribute the school magazine. as you can expect, it's pretty low quality..T_T but at least the form fives have coloured pages...cover looks awful though. kay, better shut up before i insult anyone further...lol
so much for the last week of school. as for extra [or non] curriculur activities, skipped school on wednesday and went to subang parade with ally. waaaaa...i'm so broke!! i was broke before i went out so i could'nt even buy much..but, what i bought, i'm definately enjoying..! ^.^ what it is? it's a Gravitation soundtrack cd and i love it! beeeeeg SmiLe for that...^____________________^ hehe...aside from that, been playing Ragnarok a lot lately. still weak..T_T [of course, low level sad case - sane self] *glares at stupid mean self..evil!..* therefore, i must play more! lol....that's what you get, ne? hehe... okay, i've reached the 'limit'..nothing more to say...heh..so, ja! sayonara!

..sieze the moment..
was just thinking while browsing through a few shaman king fanfics just now, i sure have quite a short attention span... a month ago, my craze was probably a chinese show..don't get me wrong, i still like chinese shows but..the energy i put into searching for it or maye obsessing is definately not as much as when i first started liking it. Today, i even deleted a whole set of mp3s..[taking up space..not mad bout the artist anymore..=p] anyway, what i'm really saying is, no matter what i like or have interest in, even though the time of liking is short [depending what it is..heh..], still, why not make full use of the time? i know that there's a possibility i won't even think about the shaman king mp3s i'm listening to right now but of course, right now, at this moment, something is telling me, that's impossible 'you'll like it forever'..that thought itself makes me want to laugh out loud even if it from me..[actually, because it's from me..lol]
[oops, sidetracked again...-_-'] so anyway, the main thought is, since i like it so much now, what's wrong in enjoying it fully? even if i don't get anything but enjoyment for the time, what's the big deal? in a nutshell, to me, siezing the moment is making full use of this time that i'm actually interested in anything..[don't mind me, this is a very random thought..0_o] ehh...since i just said so, i'm going to enjoy my mp3s now! ja!

events?
i guess so...let's see, been "busy" in the library for well, let's just say all the time i'm at school, i'm at the library,k? and since i feel like being honest, in actual fact, the name 'library' should be changed to um...casino...^^ heheh...after all, i think it's been three days in a row already that i've been playing cho tai ti, cheat and speed [or watching others play] not a bad way to spend time at school, ne? it is to educational...after all, you never know..card games could come in handy..especially at bored times..uh huh...*nods*
then, after school, here i really have to give credit to chelle for being able to stand me for so long...^^' gomenasai!, been popping over to chelle's place trying to finish shaman king..kyaa...it takes long but it's worth it..*.* cept for the X Laws theme "song" [it's not worth to be called a song..watch Shaman King to know what i'm talking bout....=P]
and of course, Ragnarok! been trying to level up *cries* i'm so weak!! *sniff* oh well, not bad, there were some kind people helping me to level up..and, i'm an acolyte!! yay yay! =p [excuse the childish self, will you? -_-'] but, don't expect too much...still quite a bad acolyte..can't warp people around and can't heal properly..bad ne? T_T oh well, i'll just kill more cute lil monsters! ^^ here, lil monsters...[forget forgiving her..beyond help...just ignore her, k? -_-"] hehe...sane-self getting irritated...ok, no more updates..my sane-self shoud be happy...heh...lucky this time...i'm sure i'll have more to say...not now though...^^;; ja! oyasumi!

at loss for words....?
hmm...even i find this an oddity..after all, people don't blog when they're at loss for words..heh... but, well, shouldn't start off by uttering discouraging words! it'll work out somehow..oh yeah! must mention that i'm currently in this Shaman King craze...must be because of the style i'm watching it..watching a two or three episodes at once then stopping..really killing me it is.. what catches me is that it's really funny! it's all about the characters all the multiple personalities and funny moments..^^ love the laughter i get out of it..
oooooookay! about the 'partying' i did to celebrate the whole after examination thing, skipped school last monday [wish i could say that for today, did spend most of the time searching for a deck of cards and playing cho tai ti though ^.^] and had fun at Timesquare...the theme park isn't bad 'cept for the ridiculous 30 dollar entrance fee..geez! 0_o had to be that much?? i mean, i understand bout the whole just opened thing but still...! oh well, we all learn from mistakes, don't we? heh...now i know...rollercoaster? not bad [yeah, al, thanks...=p] the rest? the flying-spinning ones are fun...and i rediscovered my love for bumper cars! *.* always loved them but hadn't ridden in them for so long!! waii...i miss bumper cars!!! hehe...
funny, sounds like revisiting childhood or something but nope, not the case with me, sometimes you wonder if i ever grew up! eheheh...that's what's fun though...^^ now listening to my new Ayumi Hamasaki CD, Ballads. It's soothing..has this music box effect..or that's what i say in this mood..okay, going now..gotta tend to impatient people..ja! sayonara!

little bursts of happiness^^
eheheheheheh...sorry, i just had to start out by laughing...^^ it's a happy day cause today is the last day of my exams and my exams are over! yeah!! ^______________^ eventhough today was just the last day, there was already a party happening..not really to celebrate the end of the exams, though..but to celebrate chelle-chan's birthday! happy birthday, chelle! hope you liked the surprise! ^^
well, here's what happened, first, after school, me and ally "dragged" chelle over to my place..heh...then, watch anime to pass time [don't worry, our time was spent very wisely watching RahXephon =D] mel went home but returned to chelle's place to plan everything then, by evening, bring chelle in and voila! hehe..SuRPriSe!! boy, chelle, you can scream..@_@ wait til the photos come out..i have a really dumb one in there..the one where tasha told us to make a funny face each..lol..
okay, now the exams are over, i shall party and do all the stuff i couldn't because of exams! muahahaah! ja!

My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, Which Shaman King character are you most like?, is

Which Shaman King Character are you most like?

yay! i'm like Yoh! ^^

speeding past, i don't see a thing
konban wa. i was online at this late hour chatting and sms-ing when i realised, pretty long since i didn't touch this blog eh? heh heh..^^'
well, i know, if you count in terms of days and weeks, yes, i haven't posted in a looooooooong while..but if you come live my life and go through the days like i do, well, it doesn't seem long at all..in fact, the days seem short..i really don't know why..then again, maybe it's because time was speeding, rushing me forward to the exam i'm facing now..drat! why on earth?! nevermind..about the exams, i'm doomed..what lovely red marks i shall recieve on my report 0_o and to think this is my finals..T_T
what can i say? i'm a rubbish student anyway...too little technical info absorber space, overload of entertainment filing space and the rest is practical usage [programmes and whatnot ^^] nice,ne? love my mega disc! hehe...
speaking of all that, i really should get a burner [more like my parents get one for me! pleeeaaassse! *.*] so i don't overtax my poor comp with all my music files..yep, i'm back in the search-n-download craze..sort of..love that song 'Pure Snow' so much..so lovely, so touching..*sniff*..it's by Yuko Sasaki and she has a lovely voice!
hmm....my connection's going pretty slow today...sad. just when i feel like downloading stuff again. i guess i'll do it the slow way then [as if i have a choice..>_<] kyaa!! go faster!! ganbatte!! kai...not working..-_- and i'm very well aware that i'm not perfect cheerleader material! *grumbles* oh well, let me go root myself against the slowness tonight..oyasuminasai!